Ho hum

Well it has been confirmed. I am a certified nutcase.

Well alright not a nutcase, but the psychiatrist has confirmed that I have Bipolar type 2. According to Beyond Blue.com.au's definition of Bipolar type and 2 I do sometimes display symptoms of type 1 as well, as in I get paranoid but that may come from the drug induced stupor of my teen years. Apparently pot can have that effect.

Both my kids have been driving me completely up the wall, neither of them will listen to a thing I say anymore. B screams like it's the end of the world when I take him to daycare (he goes 2 afternoons a week) and J has now decided he doesn't like going to after school care (he also goes 2 times a week). I'm starting to wonder if it's worth the $45 every fortnight. But then if they didn't go then I wouldn't get any me time.

B has this wonderful habbit of picking things up, including pens, blocks, toy truck etc, and throwing them at me. Little bugger hit me in the back of the head wit a pen yesterday. As you can imagine, I was not impressed.

Not sure if I've mentioned it before but we are looking at moving soon and trying to find a suitale house that's in our price range is just a nightmare. They are all either in bad neighbour hoods or they are dingy little old holes.

Well I better try to g to sleep have to be up early to get J to school.

Testing a hit counter

Free Counter

Owww

Last night I sat up till 4am with CC watching the Davinci Code (yeah I know it's an old movie now) and then woke up at 9:30am realising I had a dentist appointment 45 minutes away at 10:15am. I had to jump out of bed and race around like a headless chicken getting myself and the boys ready to go.

I managed to get to the dentist at 10:40am without breaking any speed limits so I'm kinda happy with myself.

I then, unexpectedly, had a tooth ripped out "extracted" and dag nammit it hurt!!!

Ok so they gave me a local anaesthetic but the noses and the pulling and grinding and urgh, *shudders,* it was awful.

It was all fine till the ruddy anaesthetic wore off. Now my jaw is aching. Now I can barely talk. So I resort to typing instead.

On the positive side, at least I can't really feel the pain in my back!

But now I'm so dang tired and they boys aren't looking like going for a nap so I might just "rest" on the couch and see how long I can get away with it before CC notices *cheeky grin*

Arrrggghhhh!!!!

I swear my kids were born to drive me totally and completely bonkers!

J keeps sneezing and coughing all over me, refusing to cover his mouth, and pulling/climbing all over me, even though he knows I'm in pain.

B keeps headbutting me in the jaw and climbing on my back.

I swear I'm slowly losing control over my life.
I've only managed to do one thing on my list as I've spent most of the day asleep trying to escape from the pain.
CC (as much as I love him) doesn't seem to understand how the pain makes me cranky, and the boys seem to just want to push my buttons to get me to break, just for the fun of it.

The Olympics are giving me the shits, there's nothing on TV BUT the ruddy Olympics.

I guess I need to get over myself but I'm just so damn cranky!

CC seems to be getting sucked back into online games after all the shit we had in May (whole other story, I should fill you in on it sometime).
I'm at a lose as to what to do, with the boys, with CC, with my inability to do what I should be doing and being able to control my emotions.

I have fought the Black Dog since I was 14. I've been on and off meds ever since. It has ow got to the point where my family members think there ust be more to it than just depression. My GP gave me 2 options when I spoke to him about Bipolar, 1. keep taking antidepressants as well as a mood stabiliser such as epilum (been on epilum before just made me sleep all the time) and 2. See a psychiatrist. I chose to see a psychiatrist and have an appointment on the 19th to see if he thinks I may have Bipolar disorder. Will be interesting to see what he has to say.

Oh well I'll probably be back later on....

Another day

Well it's after midday and I still haven't managed to drag myself into the shower and make myself look human.

J has a nasty cold and is in a prick of a mood and B is just being his normal demon spawn self.

I have so many things I should be doing and not one of them is sitting in front of the laptop.

Maybe I should write myself a list....

Have shower - Managed this much
Finish washing up (I need a dishwasher) -
Clean Lounge -
Go hire a trailer to take all the crap to the tip -
Fold all the clothes my lovely CC washed and dried for me -
Throw 2 evil children into the back yard to play -
Work on the pc I'm building for my mother (it's driving me nuts right now and taking up my dining table) -

I'll update later if I manage to get any of it done.

I'm sure there's more but I can't be bothered thinking of them right now.

Why, at 23, do I have to have back pain? It suck major balls and I hate waking up in pain. Maybe that's why I can't get motivated but I'm sure if I had a shower and moved about I'd be fine... Again the motivation escapes me.

S'pose I better go and try lol

Welcome to the world.....

Of my crazy mind!!!

Well, ok, I admit it everyone else tells me I'm "normal", but we all know that's a pretty broad term

This will be my place to write down what I'm thinking as a sort of therapeutic thingy.
I'm not expecting anyone to read it, so if you do, your probably as mad as I am lol

I like the idea of being able to put my thoughts out there, however random and strange they maybe, and not need to worry that people know who I am.

I s'pose I might give you a bit of info about me.

I'm female, 23, married (CC) with 2 boys (J, 4 and B, 2) and a cat (Baz). I live in Tasmania, Australia (have fun finding it on a map

Well that's it for now....

See ya next time