Wow I'm so slack

Well haven't I been slack!!

In the 12 or so months its been since I last posted not a whole lot has happened.
We still live in the same house, B still screams when I try to take him to day care and both boys still scream blue murder at each other regularly.

I now see a psychologist for bipolar and he gives me homework :S
I see him again tomorrow and I have some questions for him.
Number one being if he knows what the regular dose of lamotrogine or tregretol are for bipolar.

I am yet to find the right meds for my disorder and have been doctor jumping for the last couple months because my old gp wouldn't listen and wouldn't even consider changing my meds. If the new gp I see next Thursday is useless then I'll be demanding a referral back to the psychiatrist who diagnosed me to see if he can try me on different meds.

I often wonder if I actually have bipolar but that could just be denial. It also seems that my family love to compare themselves to me. Whenever I am diagnosed with something then they magically either have it or have 'tendencies'. It used to only be my mother who did this but now even my father has since I was told I have bipolar. Now they both have 'some form' of it apparently and it drives me mental. Why do they have to be exactly the same? Why can't I be the one who is different?

I'm still angry with my mother for all the shit that happened when I was little between me and my elder brother. (Can't remember if I posted about it before but he interfered with me). She still expects me to talk to him like nothing ever happened and we are the best of friends.
She has told me that when she was little her babysitter raped her constantly. Now she tells me her father did too and her uncle. I don't want to trivialize what happened to her if it did happen but why can't she understand my not wanting to talk to the perpetrator of my abuse when she wants to kill the people who did it to her?

She has a long history of making up stories and believing them herself so much that you just can't get anything out of her. Bah

Enough of that crap

I'm off to try and cook some food for the demon spawn.